The Matchmaker
by MajorSamanthaCarter
Summary: Angela is playing matchmaker for Bones and Booth, but she's forgotten one thing - They're just as smart as she is. BB, of course. T, because who knows what could happen with Angela involved...!
1. Chapter 1: bread, fish, Brennan

**Disclaimer: yes, I DO own Bones, which is why I'm writing fanfiction about it. Duh.**

**The matchmaker: chapter one**

"Hey, Booth," Angela casually walked into his office, a folder in her hands. "I have a few questions to ask you…"

"Yeah?" booth looked at her suspiciously- she was grinning madly. Suddenly he felt a little scared…

Angela perched on the edge of his desk, facing him.

"Ok, so I'm going to say some things, and I want you to say, as quickly as possible, the first thing that comes into your head when you hear it." She looked at him expectantly.

"Uh, sure…" now Booth was _definitely_ scared.

"I'll start. Bread."

"Food."

"Sandwich."

"Lunch."

"Apple."

"Fruit."

"Bugs."

"Creepy."

"Dirt."

"Mud."

"Fish."

"Slimy."

"Wood."

"Hard."

"Brennan."

"Hot – DAMMIT!"

"HA!" Angela ran out of the room, looking very smug, and Booth swore. She would _never_ let him live that down.

**A/N: I hoped you liked it! There will be lots more chapters**** - Angela has a **_**list**_** of evil things to do to them. This is just the beginning…..**

***snigger* keke. **

**But if you want more, you have to review, or I will set Angela on YOU. **


	2. Chapter 2: caution: wet floor

**Disclaimer: if I owned bones, Brennan and Booth would have, (and here I quote), 'taken all their clothes off and done it against the wall'. (Yes, David Boreanaz DID say that… and all of you who own the DVDs go watch the audio commentary for 'two bodies in the lab', 'cos that's where I got the quote.)**

Dr Temperance Brennan walked briskly down the corridor, matching her partner's – Agent Seeley Booth – stride.

"No, Booth, that's not right!" she argued. "I'm telling you he didn't do it! All the evidence points to the ex-husband!"

"Can't you trust me on this one, Bones? The ex-husband didn't do it. I know you hate psychology, but if you ask Sweets, he'll tell you I'm right!"

The two of them were so busy arguing that they didn't notice the way the light glistened off the small pool of water on the floor.

Bones let out a very un-professional sounding squeak as she slipped on the wet floor, tripping over Booth on her way down. Before they knew it, they were struggling to disentangle themselves from one another. They both froze suddenly as their brains caught up to their bodies, and they realised their positions.

Somehow, Booth had landed on top of Bones, their legs entwined.

Very slowly, Booth stood up, 'removing' his legs from hers. Brushing himself off, he helped Bones up. She muttered a thankyou, and they continued walking in awkward silence, his hand resting in the small of her back.

Bones broke the silence "I wonder why they didn't put the wet floor sign up?" She wondered. She looked like she was about to say more, but Booth stopped walking.

"Shhh" he put a finger to his lips.

"What?" she mouthed at him, confused. He put a hand to his ear, and for a minute they both listened. The faint sound of high heels on floorboards could be heard, receding quickly.  
Bones and Booth looked at each other. They knew that sound.

"Angela"

**Well, I hope you like it! I don't know how good this chapter is, so feedback would be appreciated… thanks! **

**A big thankyou also to all the wonderful people who reviewed this!!! You guys made my day!! :):):):) (in fact, if so many of u hadn't reviewed, you probably wouldn't have gotten this for another 2 weeks…. ;))**

**TAHNKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU again! I have NEVER gotten that many reviews in one hit! :):):):):):)**

**:D MSC**


	3. Chapter 3: Christmas in July

**WOOT! Y'all should luv me, cos' you're about to get 2 chappies in **_**1 DAY!!!**_** I repeat, **_**1 DAY!!!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own this I do not own this I do not own…**

**Chapter 3 – Christmas in July**

Bones and Booth walked casually over to Angela's lab.

"I wonder why she wants us?" Bones wondered, "The case just closed"

"Hm…" Booth wasn't listening. He was obviously thinking about something else.

They were about to enter the lab when someone – most likely Angela – yelled, "Stop!!" Both of them stopped in the doorway, and Bones shot a questioning look at Angela, who was apparently perfectly fine, standing in the lab with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Ange, are you alright?" she asked. "Why did you want us?"

"Bren", Angela was grinning like a lunatic. "Look up."

Brennan and Booth looked up at the same time to find a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the doorframe. Booth turned bright red and glared at Angela, while Bones just looked confused.

"Ange, it's July"

This just caused her friend to grin even more (if that were possible).

"So? Haven't you ever heard of Christmas in July?"

Brennan looked at Booth helplessly. "What is she talking about?" she was almost whining.

Booth shrugged. He was pretty peeved at Angela, but on the other hand, the situation presented a good opportunity.

As if reading his thoughts, Angela whispered, "Go on". He shrugged again, then decided. Leaning down, he gently pressed his lips to Brennan's, for less than a second, then, without breaking eye contact, he reached up, tugged on the sprig of mistletoe form the doorframe and walked away, chucking it in the bin as he left. Angela raised her eyebrows, both at Booth's action and Brennan's reaction. Bones was still standing in the doorway, stunned.

**Well, reviews keep me alive, so u guys are my life support! Keep it coming…**

**:D MSC**


	4. Chapter 4: cut the cake

**WOW! A fourth chapter! Incredible!**

**Disclaimer: Shan't, can't, won't.**

**Chapter 4 – Cut the Cake**

"Good morning Bren!" Angela bound into Bones' office holding a big box. Bones barely even looked up from her computer.

"Hi Angela" was her response, and she went back to muttering to herself.

"Look what I got!" Angela sounded excited, and Brennan became suspicious. Looking up, she saw what her friend was holding.

"It's a box."

Angela rolled her eyes. "Ah. But what's in the box?"

She looked at Bones expectantly, only to find the 'look' reflected in her friend's face. She sighed, and rolled her eyes again as she opened the box.

"It's a cake!"

Brennan _still _looked confused. "So?"

This stumped Angela. Most people _liked _cake.

"Well, don't you like cake? It's a surprise! A present, if you like! Aren't you happy? We can have it at morning tea!" She was laying it on _really_ thick, but Brennan didn't notice. She was still confused.

"But…it's not my birthday or anything… why cake?"

Angela pouted. Bren could be soooo uncooperative sometimes. She thought for a bit, then came up with, "Well, it's your _un_birthday!" She smirked, pleased with herself.

"I don't know what that means."

Angela rolled her eyes again, and grabbed Brennan with her free hand, towing her out of the office.

"Just come, sweetie. It's 11:00, already."

As Angela towed Bones to the lounge, she walked past Hodgin's office and yelled at everyone in there- he was doing some experiment that had attracted the entire 'squint squad' – to come to morning tea, we have cake!

By the time they got to the lounge, they were being followed by the rest of the 'squint squad' and Booth, drawn by the allure of cake.

Angela put the cake on the table, opened the box and gave Brennan the knife

"Go on, sweetie. Cut the cake!"

By now Bones was feeling slightly suspicious, considering that Angela had given her a knife and was now grinning like a lunatic. But she shrugged, and started cutting the cake anyway…

… at which point everyone in the room realised what was happening and took a step backwards, save Booth, who Angela pushed _forwards._

Bones pulled the knife out and waved it around.

"I cut the cake," she said sarcastically, "now what?" she looked around, confused. "Why are you all staring at.. me…" she trailed off, looking between the dirty knife and the staring squints. Suddenly it clicked. "Oh."

"_oh, look_." Said Angela deliberately. "_The knife's dirty_." She pushed Booth forward a bit for emphasis, then pointed at him and mouthed to Brennan, 'nearest boy'.

This time it was Brennan's turn to roll her eyes. Stepping forward, still holding the knife, she pecked Booth on the cheek, then quickly stepped back.

"Whoa." Said Booth, earning confused looks from everyone around. "for a second there, I thought you were gonna' gut me!"

**Well, there you have it. 4 chapters in 2 days… and, as of now, none for at least another 10 days. Sorry, but I'm going away for about that long, with **_**no**__**computers!!!!!**_** *screams, nibbles fingernails, bounces, run 'round in circles, drops to floor, twitches a little* NO COMPUTERS?!?!?! AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

***ahem* sorry about that. But really, please review, cos' there is nothing I want more than to get back from a 10-day holiday to discover I have 56 unread messages…. So go on, make my day, and hope that I write more over the holidays… ;)**

**:D MSC**

**Ps. Oh, and special thanks to CJO for typing up these past 2 chappies… oh, jack, where would I be without you??? and I will reply (and such) to all your reviews when I get back… I think….**


	5. Chapter 5: Yoga

**Oh Holy Odin! Is that what I think it is?? Yes—another chapter!!! It's a miracle!!!  
Yeah. I finally wrote another chapter.  
I know, I'm terrible. Don't hurt me, me muse is demonic and it hates me. I got sidetracked, and then more sidetracked, and bleurgh. I actually wrote this awhile ago but only just got around to typing it up. SO SUE ME! .**

Yoga

"Bones?" An anxious agent Booth hammered on the door of his partner' apartment.

"Bones! Open the door!" he yelled. Why hadn't she come yet? What if something had happened... Crap. He tried the door – it was unlocked. She _never_ left it unlocked, not after that Howard Epps incident. That still gave him nightmares...  
Anyway.  
He pulled out his gun and entered slowly, only to be assaulted by a deafening wall of sound as he stepped inside. It sounded like one of her tribal CD's from Peru or something.

Still Wary, Booth walked down the hall and entered the lounge room, only to be greeted by the strangest sight he had ever seen. Bones, _his_ Bones, was tied up in an extremely uncomfortable and, um, revealing, position in front of the TV which was obviously playing some sort of Yoga tape. The weird music was blaring from the speakers beside the set.

"BONES?!?" He yelled over the infernal racket. She _still_ couldn't hear him. He fought his way through the sound and turned the stereo off. Ah, silence, blessed silence...

"Booth?" she sounded strained, which was not inappropriate considering her current position. He tried not to stare. He really did.

"Why did you turn the music off?"

He continued to stare incredulously. "Why did I turn your music off? Bones, it was so loud I think my head was about to explode!"

"That's Impossible, Booth," she interrupted, "sound couldn't possibly make your head explode, unless—"

"Bones! Your door was unlocked, you didn't answer when I knocked... I thought something was wrong!"

She gave him the 'You're being an idiot now' look that was specially reserved for when he did something weird be her standards but normal by everyone else's.

"I couldn't possibly open the door, Booth." She flicked her eyes from him then to herself with an expression that clearly said, 'look at the position I'm in, duh'. "I left the door unlocked so you could let yourself in."

Just give up, Seeley, 'else you'll just do round in circles all day...

"What are you doing anyway, Bones?" ah. Another Look.

"I'm doing yoga, Booth. Angela leant me one of her old tapes. It's really very relaxing.

"Angela. I should have known." He glanced back at his partner. "Yeah, it looks, um, very relaxing. But we have to go to that meeting now. So if you could, um, untie yourself and I'll just wait... out here... while you, um, put some clothes... on..."

Here, a very embarrassed Booth, who had recently realised just how little clothing she was wearing, began a tactful retreat into the kitchen, when –

"Booth? I think I'm stuck..."

**Yeah. That was, um... witty. Totally.**

**Ok, I know this is really bad. But you wanted another chapter, and you got it. And this time I'm not going to lie – you probably won't get another one for a loooong time. Consider this story still on hiatus (take that, Krissie!). I will finish t one day, though. I have a plan... but demonic muses will get in the way.**

**Sorry. Again. Hope this wasn't too bad. **

**:D MSC**


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